Hello, dear readers, and welcome to our monthly letters column. With lengthening days and warming weather, outdoor activities beckon.
CLINTON’S HISTORY 10, 20, 30 AND 40 YEARS AGO
Dear Doctors: I recently started going to a yoga class at our community center. We were doing deep breathing, and it felt like my lungs weren’t filling up as much as they used to. Do your lungs get less elastic when you get older? Can that be reversed?
The Republican Party was in desperate straits in the weeks following the 2012 presidential election. There were several reasons. One, its losing nominee, Mitt Romney, was a poor candidate whom a significant part of the GOP base, and an even more significant part of the overall electorate, did not want. Two, its opponent, President Barack Obama, appeared to have found the secret to assembling a permanent winning coalition. And three, Republican leaders worried, sometimes publicly and sometimes privately, that the party was on the wrong side of some key issues, especially immigration.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My eldest daughter is in a relationship with someone who is nearly twice her age. My daughter is 23, so when she shared the news with me that she was dating someone seriously, I was happy for her. She lives with me, so I’d see flowers being delivered and hear long-winded phone calls. She told me that things were serious between the two of them, so I asked if I’d be meeting him soon. She told me she was nervous because there are things about him that I may not like; that’s when she admitted that he’s 40 years old. I am only 48! So, yes, I find it strange that a man nearly my age finds interest in my daughter who only just finished college. Her life has barely begun.
• It happens to many homeowners, and when it does, we’re not sure what to do: A bird flies into your home. Keep in mind that the bird is just as scared as you, so bringing more frantic energy to the situation will do no good. First, turn off all the lights and close the drapes and blinds so no window looks like a possible escape. Then open one outside door where the most natural light will pour into the home. This will draw the bird’s attention, and it most likely will fly out the door.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it OK to be selective about where or when I spend time with certain friends? Or does that make me shallow? One of my best friends is loud and often asks invasive questions. She likes being in the limelight, so she draws attention to our group by joking incessantly or interjecting in conversations. I love her because she is genuinely vibrant and caring, but sometimes in professional settings or even around new friends in casual settings, I find myself worrying about the impression she’ll give. I can see sometimes that her humor and her way of connecting with people is not well-received, but I don’t know how to help in the moment without embarrassing her. She is intelligent, but she seems socially oblivious. Should I try to teach her otherwise, or be more mindful of what sorts of things and places I invite her to? – Center of Attention DEAR CENTER OF ATTENTION: You can do two things. First, in private, talk to her about how she interacts with people, and suggest that she step back and read the room before inserting herself into certain situations. Have some examples ready for clarity’s sake. You can also be more selective as to where you invite her. That’s not a diss; it’s self-preservation. Not every person is suited to every occasion.
Dear Doctors: Our 8-year-old son got sick with strep throat and had to miss a family camping trip. When my sister called to check on him, she asked me if I knew strep throat can cause obsessive-compulsive disorder. Is that really true? The strep was cured with antibiotics, and our son seems fine.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that my siblings and I are “orphans” – both of our parents have died – we have only one another left. This is proving to be challenging. All of our old childhood behaviors are coming back, and I feel stuck in the past. My older sister is really pushing my buttons, and I am finding it difficult to interact well with her without feeling constantly dissed or overly defensive.
My husband, Peter, doesn’t believe me, but I didn’t always dress up.