My sister and I told my mother we were throwing her a party for her 90th birthday.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently matched with someone on a dating app, and after chatting for a bit, we realized we work at the same company. It’s a huge organization, so we had never crossed paths before – until, of course, we suddenly started running into each other in the office after matching. We never acknowledged it directly, and since then, things have felt a little awkward. It’s not like anything inappropriate happened between us. We just exchanged a few friendly messages before things fizzled out, but now every hallway run-in feels tense. I can’t tell if he’s pretending it never happened or if he’s just as unsure as I am about how to act.
Susan Stamberg hosted NPR’s evening news broadcast, “All Things Considered,” for 14 years, starting in 1972. When she died recently at age 87, a female friend recalled what a difference it made to hear a woman’s voice on the radio. Susan was the host, she recalled, she was authoritative, and it was inspiring.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved into a new apartment building recently, and while I love the location and my unit, I’ve been having a tricky time with one of my neighbors. They frequently leave passive-aggressive notes about noise, even when I’m careful to keep my music low and avoid loud activities. Sometimes the notes feel exaggerated or unfair, and it’s starting to make me anxious every time I move around my apartment. I don’t want to start a confrontation or create hostility, but I also don’t want to constantly tiptoe around my own home or feel guilty for simply living my life. I’ve considered introducing myself in person to smooth things over, but I’m nervous that could backfire and make the tension worse. I also worry that the building management won’t take my side if it escalates, and I don’t want this situation to affect my enjoyment of my new home. I just want to find a way to coexist peacefully without feeling like I’m walking on eggshells every day. How can I handle this situation in a calm, respectful way that sets boundaries, preserves my peace and prevents further passive-aggressive behavior?
CLINTON’S HISTORY 10, 20, 30 AND 40 YEARS AGO
Hello, dear readers! Welcome to a bonus letters column. It’s officially flu season, and it’s time to get serious about flu shots. For those who are eligible, the updated COVID-19 shot also offers important protection. The vaccines are available from your doctor and at most national chain pharmacies. It’s never too late to get a flu vaccine, so we’ll be back with gentle reminders throughout the season. And now, on to your letters.
Dear Doctors: I have had a UTI several times and know the symptoms. This last time, when I went to urgent care, they said they needed a urine culture before they could treat me. It was another day of being uncomfortable before getting the meds I needed. Do you know why that was done?
DEAR HARRIETTE: This year has been extremely busy for me and my core friend group. No matter how much we try, it seems like every time we try to pick a time we can all be available to catch up and do something together, we fail. I recognize that being busy is not always something people can change, but still, isn’t it important to make time for the ones you love? One friend in particular often puts us off for months at a time or simply doesn’t respond. If we happen to make plans without her, she doesn’t take it well. The other day, we were all finally out to dinner, and I casually mentioned that sometimes it takes months to plan with her, and she got really defensive and accused me of “talking crap.” Did I overstep? Or is she being sensitive? – Busy Schedules
District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Kendra Briggs was quite understanding with the 15-year-old who had pepper-sprayed a man while a friend pummeled him, and while others in her group tried to steal his car. The young perpetrator has had a difficult life, Briggs noted. “I know you are not unfamiliar to trauma,” the judge said.
• A dying houseplant isn’t a dead one, and there are steps you can take to give it a second chance at life. Start with the roots: Unpot the plant and look at the stems and roots. If you see any green stems, and if the roots are pliable, the plant has a good chance to recover. Just shake off the excess soil, trim the dead roots and repot with fresh soil. Use a slightly larger pot to give it room to grow, and make sure there are drainage holes.