Cousin needs to confront past trauma from parents

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am at a loss on how to express my concerns to my cousin. She has gone through some serious emotional trauma at the hands of her parents, and I have witnessed firsthand how she hasn’t fully healed or even addressed those issues seriously. My cousin has been talking about having children, but the thought of her potentially projecting her unresolved issues onto children terrifies me. To make matters worse, she is not even in a committed relationship with the man she wants to have children with. I think she needs to get serious therapy before even entertaining the idea of having children. I want to express my concern without coming off as intrusive or insensitive, and I’m not sure how to go about it. What do you recommend I do? — Concerned Cousin DEAR CONCERNED COUSIN: This is delicate territory, so tread lightly. Ask your cousin for permission to speak freely about something that is on your mind. With her blessing, tell her how beautiful it is that she wants to have children and remind her of what a huge responsibility it is. Suggest that as she prepares herself for the possibility, she may want to consider going to therapy to address some of the trauma that she experienced as a child so that she can learn tools to work through her challenges as well as strategies for how to be a healthy parent.

Visit to physician after onset of new symptoms

Dear Doctors: I’m a 29-year-old man at a normal weight, and I eat a balanced and healthy diet. I’ve been having night sweats and sometimes also mild or moderate kidney pain. There is a history of cancer on both of my parents’ sides of the family. I’m not asking for a diagnosis, just advice on how to figure this out.

Golf’s recent political meltdown

For more than a year, professional golf has been engulfed in a civil war over money and politics. The cause has been the creation of a new tour, funded by the vastly wealthy government of Saudi Arabia, to challenge the dominance — some would say the monopoly — of the PGA Tour.

DO JUST ONE THING

Short-term homestays are very common now as an alternative to hotels when traveling. While there are many large companies that offer a wide variety of vacation rental properties, you can up your eco-friendly game by choosing one with sustainability in mind. The online platform Ecobnb.com lists vacation homes that meet criteria like being designed with 100% renewable energy, water-saving features, eco-friendly cleaning products and lighting, solar panels and more.

Thanks to changes, baseball is back

One day in 1951, during Willie Mays’ rookie season, my father took me to the Polo Grounds in Manhattan to see him play. What I recall most vividly is emerging from a shadowy corridor under the stands into the astonishing sunlit green of the outfield grass. The sheer expanse of a major league playing field is something you’re not prepared for as a child.

Today is the 138th day of 2023 and the 60th day of spring.

Sibling wants to repair relationship with sister

DEAR HARRIETTE: I never had a good relationship with my sister growing up — or even as adults, quite frankly. Recently, though, we have been getting along well. We do not live in the same town, but we talk on the phone occasionally. In the past, these conversations would often be awkward. This year, though, things have been much better. We have had very friendly conversations. I’m almost afraid to believe that this will continue since they used to be combative. How can I let go of the past and just be in the moment with her? My worry is that she used to hurt my feelings a lot. I have kept my guard up for so long, I’m not sure how to completely let it down. — Renewed Relationship DEAR RENEWED RELATIONSHIP: While you may not want to let down your guard completely, you can continue to ease into a relaxed engagement with your sister. When you two talk, assume the positive — that it will be a good conversation. Listen and share naturally.

In West Virginia, coal is kingmaker

MOORESVILLE, W.V. – Here, in this tiny unincorporated community equidistant from Shinnston, W. Va. (population 2,306), and Smithfield, Penn. (pop. 817), the dogwoods are only now beginning to bloom, their annual springtime metamorphosis from white to green just underway. And just past Crooked Run Road, the coal trucks line up, one by one.

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