DEAR HARRIETTE: My in-laws’ 55th wedding anniversary is coming up soon, but unfortunately, my fatherin- law passed away last year, so this will be my mother-in-law’s first anniversary without him. It’s been a tough year for her. She misses her husband, and their relationship was the foundation of her life. I know this day is going to be especially hard for her, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how I might be able to support her during this time.

Odds are I won’t have to deal with it: the latest thing men are doing wrong according to the (largely female) writers of The Washington Post’s Well+Being: Healthy Living articles.

Hello, dear readers, and welcome to the first letters column of autumn.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom is about to turn 60, which is a huge milestone, and my dad doesn’t seem to be planning anything special for her. She’s always been the one who goes above and beyond for everyone else in the family, so my siblings and I thought it would be nice for her to have a relaxing spa day. She absolutely loves going to the spa, and we figured it would be a thoughtful gift from my dad, something that shows how much he appreciates her. We suggested this idea to him a few weeks ago, and he initially agreed it was a great plan. The issue now is that instead of taking the lead and arranging everything, my dad has started asking us to step in and help organize the whole thing. He’s even asking if we can chip in financially to cover the cost of the spa package.