Friend’s inconsistent stories create confusion

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend always changes her story when it comes to small things, but I feel like the accumulation of all these small inconsistencies is starting to get to me. For example, she was just talking about how she plans to work at the company we both work at for five more years, but then not even two minutes later, she mentioned wanting to apply to grad school within the next year. It’s hard to keep up when her story changes so frequently, and sometimes I feel like I can’t tell what’s actually true.

Did something spook President Donald Trump? Recently, he announced that he would roll back tariffs on food, just days after he embraced a much more moderate tone on immigration. The question is whether this is a momentary shift or a real change of heart prompted by sour polling, scary economic indicators and private conversations with alarmed business leaders.

Elizabeth Ko, M.D.

Dear Doctors: Does taking calcium help keep your bones strong or not? I am going through perimenopause now, and osteoporosis is on my mind. A friend says that just a calcium supplement isn’t enough, you need to think about vitamin K.

Roommates step on each other’s toes

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work from home, and my roommate does, too. At first, it wasn’t a big deal; we thought we could share the space easily and just use headphones when we had meetings. Lately, our schedules have started to clash, and we both end up taking video calls at the same time. Since our apartment is small, there’s no real privacy, and her voice often carries into my meetings. It’s gotten to the point where I find myself distracted, missing key points and feeling embarrassed when my manager comments on the background noise. I’ve tried dropping hints, like mentioning how hectic it gets when we both talk at once, but she never seems to pick up on it. She tends to brush it off and say, “Yeah, it’s just part of working from home,” but I don’t think she realizes how much it’s impacting my performance.

DO JUST ONE THING

• While some popular houseplants thrive indoors, they should never be transplanted outdoors, where they can become invasive.

New living situation upsets parents

DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved in with my boyfriend recently, and my parents are furious. I come from a traditional background where living together before marriage is considered shameful. My mother won’t speak to me, and my father told me he didn’t raise me this way. I understand their values, but I think this is a step toward building a healthy relationship before marriage.

Elizabeth Ko, M.D.

Dear Doctors: My question is about the holidays, and it’s two parts. The to-do list just seems to get longer each year, and I’m already feeling stressed-out. Also, I just turned 44 and I don’t recover from the eating and drinking like I used to. Do you have any realistic ideas other than “just say no”?

Old message, new megaphone

The Economist asked, “voters have spoken, but what did they say?” Good question, and the magazine provides a trenchant answer: “Democrats risk drawing the wrong lessons from one good day. Moderate governors offer a better model than a charming socialist in New York.”

I didn’t know capris were old women’s clothes

Iwas weeding through my closet, as I need to do much more often than I do. I bring my used clothing to my parent’s house, up north, because they have a very nice thrift store that employs developmentally disabled people. It appears my old clothes find new owners quickly, so I don’t feel as bad about dumping my ill-considered clothing choices.

Daughter regrets estrangement from mother

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom passed a few weeks ago. We’ve been estranged for years. She moved to the United States when I was young in hopes of creating a better life for her children. She sent for me eventually, but I liked the life I had in our home country, so I stayed.

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